When Helen Claire was first born and we brought her home from the hospital, she still had her Moro reflex- it's the reflex that makes babies throw out their arms and legs if they get startled. Supposedly, if they feel like they are falling or if they hear a loud noise, they do this as a defense mechanism. She did it a ton during the beginning, especially when we put her on her changing table or in the bath tub, but now, she rarely does it, and I read that by two months, it will be totally gone. She has already lost her stepping reflex. I showed that to Vickie the first night we were home. We stood her up on her changing table, and her little feet made stepping motions. I tried it yesterday, and I got nothing. That's good, and that's what supposed to happen, but I never want to forget those first little tiny stepping motions.
Just this week, she is able to look at us, and we know she is actually focusing and not just staring off into space. She can coo at us and coos to herself in her crib, and the sweetest thing is that she can recognize our voices... AND smile to them. When Jonathan gets home from work, he usually says, "Little girl, I'm home," and I swear she knows it is him. She smiles, and it will melt your heart!
It has really been different the past few weeks, for me, at least. When mom and Vickie were here and helping us get through the first days, I still didn't feel very good, and she was eating so much, that it was hard to have extra energy to just love on her. Now I feel like we know each other, and I know how to comfort her and know more about her personality. She is a cuddly baby, which I love. She needs to be near people and does not like being in a room by herself. She has started grabbing onto me when she eats or tries to fall asleep for comfort. She will hold my shirt or rub my arm or pull on my hair. I never want to forget her squealing and stretching to wake up or finish eating. She makes a little cat-like noise almost, and tenses up her whole body to stretch. She puts both hands by her face and squints and squirms. I know she'll stop doing that soon as her body gets longer and more toned, but right now, it is so sweet. I always want to remember her little baby wrinkles and rolls and dimples- the way it looks like she has had rubber bands around her wrists they are so chubby and indented. I never want to forget how she laughs in her sleep right now and it shakes her entire little body She has a furrow on her brow right now that shows up when she is mad or when she cries. Her angel kiss also shows up on her forehead when she gets really mad. The pediatrician told me it was not a birth mark, and it would be gone before she turned two, but right now, it is a little funny shaped strawberry mark that pops up when she cries really hard. She has the cutest little dimples in the back of her elbows, on her knees, on the tops of her hands. She is still a little wrinkly in places from being in the womb, and I am obsessed with her little creases. Jonathan and I are closer now, too. We have always been close, but it's different, it's hard to explain.
I remember our very first night in the hospital and waking up with her. Our room looked out over the city, and the sun was rising, and I remember thinking, "Ok, this is it. We are all she has." She seemed so tiny then compared to now, and it was really scary, but we are doing it, and she gets easier and easier everyday.
I never want to forget those first nights home, when she was so little that even the newborn sleepers were too big, and she slept most nights in the blue hand-me-down sleeper from Blake Elizabeth. She has grown so much since then, and I never imagined how quickly that tiny little baby would be wearing 3 month clothes!!
There is a little girl in our hometown who has been sick for a long time, but this week, her condition became even worse. We don't know her, but I've been following her updates on Facebook. It has made me think a lot about children who are sick, hurt, in constant pain... even worse, parents who lose children, which is unimaginable. In all of my reading baby books and the American Academy of Pediatrics Encyclopedia and trying to do it perfectly and get on a schedule and blah, blah, blah, it is a reminder to just enjoy my baby... every minute of this crazy, sweet, wonderful time, even the hard ones. I know it won't be like this forever, in good ways and in sad ones, so I need to soak it up. I'm going back to work in a couple of weeks, and I know I will wish for this time back.
Ok, I'll stop being so sappy now, but I feel better getting all of that out.
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